SEE! a genuine quote from a real artist!

But, being THE ARTIST has it's drawbacks (even when people name black and white, silent movies after me) for one my veins run with paint. Which is really goopy and ruins medical equipment. Secondly I can't not make masterpieces, WHICH SUCKS, because people die when they see some of my drawings. Of course some fellow artists have survived the awe inspiring beauty that is my art, or AWEINSPBEAUTHAISMART for short. Like famous gay interior designer, Michelangelo (which I asume means MIKEANGEL in english). 

Seriously though that guy was so good at painting he even gave ME pointers (which is not slang for doing the nasty)

When Mike painted the Sistine Chapel with me (he painted all the boobs, don't worry mom) he broke he broke his back and said this:

Needless to say I finished It, naked people and all. I even painted God's billowy flowing beard. You know, the one that God shows to his barbers so they know how to cut it. 

Later in my THE ARTIST career I hung out for a while with Vincent Van Gogh (pronounced Van Goff? Go?) I just called him Vince. For most of the time he called me Wyatt, well, first he called me THE ARTIST just like EVERYONE ELSE SHOULD. What? You think that is a LIE, I HAVE NEVER EVER EVER, GET BACK TOGETH-I MEAN LIED EVER IN YOUR LIFE! Here is proof:

We painted sunflowers, and stars, and people, and stores, and him getting murdered... I should probably use that as EVIDENCE in THE COURT OF TRUTH (where people come to find the BUBBLE GUM, which is judge slang for GUILTY PARTY). 

Even later I got a girlfriend and it was cool. But she wasn't a painter, and didn't call me THE ARTIST, so it didn't work out. ALSO I WAS A TERRIBLE BOYFRIEND BUT THAT IS CIRCUMSTANTIAL GO AWAY.

THEN, I hung out with Leonardo Da Vinci. He was just inventing stuff and writing backwards all the time and I got incredible bored so I just drew a picture of a girl smiling called... um... what was it... Mona Louis? What was her name? WHATEVER. IT'S NOT THAT IMPORTANT. 

So anyways, he was boring.

After that there was a long period of time called THE DARK AGES (or MAY OF 1995) when I stopped painting and went on to other things, like being born. All the cuddling and finger painting was alright, but it instilled other preschoolers with wisdom and glory, or death. (too far?)

In my youth YES YOUTH, I DID ALL THESE THE ARTIST ACTIVITIES BEFORE I WAS BORN, NO TIME MACHINE REQUIRED--WAIT WHERE IS THE CAPS LOCK KEY? SOMEONE PRESSED IT DIDN'T THEY?!--Okay we are back. Well I am back.